How to establish a relationship with children? Life with children in Portugal. Maria's story

How to establish a relationship with children? Life with children in Portugal. Maria’s story

How do you build a relationship with your children? A fundamental question that is becoming more and more urgent every year. We all understand that we can’t devote time only to our career and work, but only a few of us manage to do everything. Where to find the strength for everything? After all, there is no time to recover, just as there are moments that you miss with your loved ones. Today we show you the solution.

I used to wonder the same thing myself. I remember when once again being held up at a meeting, or sitting in traffic for hours, it felt like life was passing you by. But I did it, I was able to find a solution. Today I will tell you the story of Marina, who also managed, despite all the difficulties, to keep her courage, to move to a foreign country and finally start her new life with children in Portugal. Without further ado, let’s get started!

Life with kids in Portugal. How it all started.
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How it all started

Maria is the owner of a chain of restaurants in Moscow. When we first met, I immediately noticed how independent and hardworking she is. Although, what else would you expect from someone who has built her entire business all by herself. Ever since she was a child she dreamed of a successful career: she entered and graduated from MSU on her own, earned her first money, which she spent on business school, and opened her first small restaurant.

When the business took off, the girl first thought about the fact that she wanted to start a family. Everything was just fine: a loving husband, and two beautiful children: the oldest Dima and the youngest Roma. In a word – happiness! True, it did not last long. As they say: love lives in three years. And so it was with Maria after three years of happy family life that everything fell apart.

After the divorce, nothing changed immediately. The girl went with her head to work and, at first, everything was in its place. There was a favorite business, the children were in class in the morning, after the driver took them to the section, and a caring grandmother or nanny was waiting for them at home in the evening. Maria spent the day in endless meetings and appointments, and when she returned – she was all asleep and can devote all her time to herself. That’s how it went for three long years until the first bells started ringing.

first thoughts of moving
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First thoughts about moving

For the first time in years, her family was able to talk Maria into coming for a weekend visit. “Really, why not get away?” the girl thought, “And it would be good for the kids to get out of town, too.”

“It’s funny, but it was that weekend that eventually led me to live in another country,” Maria recalls. The whole trip went in the wrong direction from the very first minutes. I tried to communicate, somehow get my boys to talk. Roma just kept silent, and Dima was enough for a few minutes and then he withdrew into himself. This is how the whole weekend passed until we left.

When she returned home, the girl could not find her place. Why had I become a stranger to my family? What had I done to make my children shun me? The answer came naturally: what had I done to make sure this didn’t happen? When did our conversations go beyond the question, “How was school? When was the last time we went out as a family? I just disappeared from their lives.

<That’s when I started to wonder, “What can I do? How could I rearrange my life to make up for past mistakes? That’s when the realization came that I had to change everything at the root and build from the ground up.

The first thought of moving was the day she decided to move. But there were still many problems and doubts that needed to be resolved.

how to overcome your doubts?
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How do you overcome your doubts?

– The first question I had was the biggest challenge. How could I do such a big step as moving to another country on my own, with two kids in my arms? It seemed to me at the time that it was a temporary bliss, that I shouldn’t take such risks, much less expose my children to them. Besides, what would happen to the business? Could I just leave it like that?

Fortunately, I calmed down quickly. These days anything was possible-if only money was available, and that shouldn’t have been a problem. I could leave the business to my mother for the time being-she was sure she could handle it and then I could do it remotely. 

– Not only that, of course, was it scary. Even if you put aside all the conventions and accept the idea that I could do it, what would you do next? I only have weak English, and I have no one abroad. What will I do alone so far from home?

And on the other hand, who said I would be alone? My children will be with me, and my relatives are always in touch. And there are enough people from Russia abroad, and I’ll be able to find someone there. It’ll all work out, as long as I’m as prepared as I can be and do my best!

It's time to move forward!
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It’s time to move forward

The first thing was the most logical question: where to go anyway? Not America – Marie had happened to vacation there with her husband and she did not like it. The girl started to think of who of her friends or acquaintances already lived abroad and immediately remembered a couple of classmates and classmates who had gone away immediately after graduation.

I found them on FB, and I wrote. The guys told me that they have long ago received a residence permit in European countries. Some in the central countries, some in Spain, and some in Portugal. It turned out that the move – it’s not as difficult as I initially thought. The main thing is to prepare well.

With every question all doubts crumbled. Even then, Maria made her choice – Portugal. The climate is wonderful, foreigners are welcomed, with the language, and the communication would be no problem – Portugal was one of the largest Russian-speaking communities in Europe.

After she realized it wasn’t that bad, she became adventurous. And when else would she have such an opportunity? She decided it was time to move forward! Maria decided it wasn’t worth taking her child away in the middle of his first year of school, so there was plenty of time to prepare.  Putting aside all doubts, the girl began to carefully examine all the possibilities for moving. And that’s where the main problem surfaced.

New difficulties
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New challenges

– For the first two months, I honestly tried to get into all the intricacies of the immigration process and figure out the best option. Eventually, there was so much information that I started to get discouraged. With my responsibility, I just could not make a mistake and with each new article I read, with each visit to the forum, I realized that one surely can not cope. Then I started looking for professionals who can help me. I needed someone who could do the job, and I found them!

I came across the service MoveToCascais absolutely by accident. Promotion on Instagram, the website, the first call – and here I was already looking at the upcoming dates to book tickets. Somehow, surprisingly, in one short phone call, I got all the answers to all the questions I have been puzzling over for the past two months. In addition, the opportunity to go for a week and talk in person before signing the contract, rather than having to deal with everything online, was especially appealing.

First Week in Portugal
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The first week in Portugal

And so, it was time for the first consultation. That’s when we met Maria in person. We met at our office and she decided to take a look at the country she would be associating her life with.

– There were so many impressions! It is difficult to express how wonderful Portugal has been for us. First of all, the weather. It was a sunny Paradise on earth. Usually, I am picky about the weather, but it was neither cold nor hot here. The Portuguese were also very nice. People here treat each other completely differently. It felt like I had lived here all my life – I just went away for a little while.

I was very happy to be here.

Following these impressions and looking at her new life with her own eyes, Maria was convinced that she would return very soon. And so it was: a month later, on the opening of her visa, she and her family were back in Portugal and moved into their new apartment. This time for good!

living with children in Portugal
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Life with children in Portugal

I’m so happy that I decided to move! Everything is great here, from the weather and food to the living conditions. The kids and I walk along the ocean every day-what more could you want? I’m getting to know them better and they’re getting to know me better. Finally, we love each other. I’ve learned that people are the makers of their happiness and it’s up to us to determine what tomorrow holds!

When I first saw Maria and heard her story, I was already confident that she would succeed. After all, I’d gone down the same road, from total insecurity and fear of losing everything to a happy life.

Living in Ukraine, I didn’t even have time for myself, let alone my family. I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough time for everything. When a friend of mine invited me to Portugal for the first time, I realized that this was the way out! And after I moved there, I realized that things are different here. In Portugal, life goes at a completely different pace. Finally, I was able to spend some time with my family and I was really happy!